ic 🌲 futurology inbox

[agrizzlysin]

username: KING

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

TEXT UN: sieglindesullivan

[grunehexe]

Ban.

Ban.

Ban.

Ban.

BAN.

Ban.

How much did that hurt?

[Because what better way to meet new people than to accidentally drunk text them trying to test the other party involved... ???]

[agrizzlysin]

[...]

Never enough.

Who are you?

[grunehexe]

Of course you forgot- are you drunk? Again?

It is I, Sieglinde Sullivan, the Green Witch! Remember my name!

[agrizzlysin]

I can do that much if you insist, but at least do me the same favor.

It's King! I'm King. I'm nothing like that Ban. How could you ever mistake me for him?

[grunehexe]

[Wait... a minute...]

... You're the bloody cushion boy? Or- does that make you a girl?

No, of course not- "King", yes. Yes. I have it now.

[agrizzlysin]

Why would that make me a girl? On second thought, don't answer that.

As long as you remember, it's fine.

But why would you ask Ban something like that in the first place?

[grunehexe]

Ruining their cushions with blood is usually the sad fate of women.

[Sorry, did you not want to know the answer... ?]

I am curious about his immortality. Do you think it could be passed on genetically?

[agrizzlysin]

[Yeah, no, thanks for nothing.

More pressing is that King knows exactly what caused Ban's immortality: the fountain of youth which King's sister had guarded. It most certainly has nothing to do with genetics. Though King would like nothing more than to put that thought to rest for all eternity, if Ban hasn't explained, then he doesn't feel he should either.]

Definitely not. There's no way it could be something like that.

[grunehexe]

[WELL...]

I understand it might not be considering the nature of his acquiring it, but it's quite an intriguing prospect.

[Sigh...]

Still, I require his services. I shall find him. This network is just so very hard to read.

[When drunk.]

[agrizzlysin]

You require... Ban's services? He offers services?

[grunehexe]

Not for free, of course. I imagine I'll have to bribe him, potentially with my maidenly flesh. Sadly, it is a risk that must be undertaken for the greater good.

[agrizzlysin]

[King might have just thrown up in his mouth a little.]

You'd probably be better off offering him an apron.

[grunehexe]

[appropriate response tbh]

Why? I certainly hadn't planned on offering him anything that messy...

[agrizzlysin]

I mean that he'd even accept some frilly apron before he'd accept anything like that!

[grunehexe]

ARE YOU IMPLYING A MAN WOULD RATHER RECEIVE THE UNIFORM OF A SERVANT THAN TASTE OF MY SECRET PLACES???

[wow offensive]

[agrizzlysin]

THAT MAN, YEAH!

BECAUSE IF HE DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT, I'D KILL HIM SO MANY TIMES EVEN HIS IMMORTALITY WOULDN'T SAVE HIM!

[grunehexe]

WELL

Oh, well. As long as you killed him after I was done with him I suppose...

[agrizzlysin]

It wouldn't surprise me if there was a line for it. I'm willing to wait my turn.

[grunehexe]

Why would there even be a line... I've met far worse people.

[agrizzlysin]

Those kinds of people don't usually last long enough to go through the whole line.

[grunehexe]

So he is bad enough to have people want to kill him... But not bad enough to warrant instant death.......... ?

[agrizzlysin]

Something like that...

[But also nothing like that at all. Ban sucks, like, a thousand balls, okay. He's just also sort of amazing and indispensable.]

[grunehexe]

Well, for what I need his services for that sounds just the amount of bad I require.

Thank you for your input!

[agrizzlysin]

Did it change your mind at all?

[grunehexe]

Not at all.

[agrizzlysin]

I figured.

[grunehexe]

Have a lovely evening.

[agrizzlysin]

Yeah. Sure. You too.